President Bannon welcomed to higher level of hell

Nick Douglas imagines Stephen Bannon, Trump’s political brain, receiving a smarmy credit-issuer welcome letter from the Abyss in recognition of his services.

Congratulations on your upgrade to Malebolge, the Eighth Circle of the Abyss. This tier of our eternal rewards program is reserved for customers of our Fraud department, including flatterers, adulterers, hypocrites, and thieves. And what a dedicated customer you have been.

We thank you for your use of our offerings, including Graft, Pandering, Deceit, and the Promotion of Discord. You earned your Fraud points through a surprising variety of purchases, ranging from tax evasion to promoting white supremacy.

While Malebolge is one of our highest membership tiers, there is one higher. If you fulfill certain requirements, we would be delighted to upgrade you to Cocytus, the Ninth Circle. This lake of ice is reserved for our most honored guests, the traitors.

All others pay cash.

Trump’s Bullshit Executive Orders Become Even More Bullshit on White House Website

The new presidential administration has a problem with accurate information. The number of falsehoods that pile up on a daily basis is unnerving enough, but according to a new USA Today report, the administration isn’t even accurately posting its own executive orders to the White House website.

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Trump aides were in constant contact with top Russian officials during campaign

This is so much bigger than Watergate. America has not seen a political crisis of this magnitude for generations. The other shoe drops on #Flynngate tonight. Trump, Manafort, and Flynn’s activities “raise a red flag.” The U.S. government is in “unbelievable turmoil.” Who is in charge of America?

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‘I hope they sort it out soon because we’re a nation at war,’ says U.S. Special Operations Command chief of Trump

As Mike Flynn departs amid Russia blackmail suspicions, the dysfunction inside Trump’s regime is boiling over. There’s talk of multiple investigations into multiple staff members, even blaming Obama ‘sleeper cells’ inside the White House.

Today’s New York Times includes yet another exposé of what an increasingly hobbled hot mess Team Trump is. The piece includes a whopper of a quote from one of our nation’s senior-most defense officials. Get a load of this.

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Bet on what will Trump ban during his first term

UK betting site Paddy Power is taking bets on a number of Trump related possibilities, including suspending the 1st Amendment (40-to-1), repealing Obamacare (1-to-2), banning abortion (3-to-1), re-opening Alcatraz as a prison (14-to-1), outlawing the theory of evolution (50-to-1), and banning stairs (500-to-1).

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